JUST AS we were going to the presses, a developing story hit our desks. We are hearing early rumours that two of the worlds big players in the vario market are in buyout talks. Browniger is being bought by FlySpec and we're hearing a rumoured price tag of 2.7 billion dollars.
Desperate to confirm this news we contacted market analyst Charles Bentley of KMPG. "This has come as a major shock to the markets, old chap", he said, "but investors seem mildly confident of the outcome, as shares have shown a day-on-day increase of 14% especially in after-hours electronic trading."
Er.
"Our main concern here at the trading desks is that it has set off high volume futures trading with limited short sell options available", he continued, "and with the notional rights not fixed in this way, we could be in for a slide as the market grows both less deep and more liquid. Remember, varios are a spot market, and we're expecting above average levels of default before settlement."
Woah. We had to stop him there as we'd effectively gone parachutal.
"Ok", he explained, "put simply, people really think they can guess the name of the new company, right? There's only two ways they can keep this new company together and that has to be as either 'Browntec' or 'Flynigger'. Here at KMPG our feeling is that neither the investors nor the customers are going to like that very much."
Ah. Good point.
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 2003 "George Bush Carrier Landing" script
Funnier than the 2003 "George Bush Carrier Landing" script