Spring Thermals

IT'S NEVER too early for a good piece of advice. That's the motto in the Pie offices.

In a vain attempt to fill up some ad-space we couldn't sell, we are re-running the same old tat we do each year. Only here at Pie we like to beat the competition and get our advice in early.

From this year on we will be specially contracting young trainee reporters to give the same old shite a re-working and hopefully add some zest to the look and feel of the usual annual reminder not to kill yourself. So here goes then.

Hi, smack heads, Chaz 'ere. Christmas is behind ya and the flava of the munf is; springs comin' surf dudes. But hey, Chaz is slidin over to tell you we've got some vibes that April and May can be bumpy, if you know what I mean. Really thermal-rich, pop-topping stuff the streets is tellin me. So take it easy on them sites bruv or we'z goin to be scrapin you up wivva spade. Remember bro, you ain't comp level stuff ya know, and you ain't had your arse in a sling since October, so you isn't on top form like. You know it. Later.

Well, that wasn't too bad. Maybe next year then.

Please note the absence of the word "punchy" in a "Spring Thermals" article, a world first?

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 2003 "George Bush Carrier Landing" script