Records Gallore

NEWS HAS been trickling into the Pie offices over the past few weeks clearly showing that this season is going off like a rocket, especially in the Alps. It's being reported that records are falling like dominoes this year. And it's only May !

Two Austrians, Heli Reichholder and Christoph Edelweiss, posted a 268.5Km triangle in the Alps last month smashing Krigal Moorer's record by a little over 3ft, 6in. A fantastic distance, especially if you consider they were both flying Blozone Arten's. Amazing !

Flying granny, Fiona McCasco, has set a new girls 25Km triangle speed record at a whopping 26.1kph. A fantastic speed, especially if you consider she was flying a Blozone Belta. Amazing !

Lucky Luke Amour set off with a pal on a working holiday recently and appears to have set a new Alpine record of 339Km. A fantastic distance, especially if you consider they were both flying their company wings, Blozone Arleven's. Amazing !

Italian babe Nicole Fidelta set off on the other side of the Alps and flew 208Km, breaking two world records, the girls out and return distance, and the girls 200Km out and return speed records. A fantastic flight, especially if you consider she was flying a Blozone Arten. Amazing !

Another Italian pilot, Ardweeno Per Sello recently flew 267Km and set a new out and return world record. A fantastic flight, especially if you consider he was flying a Blozone Arten. Amazing !

Over the waters in the UK, Mike Cavenagogogoch set new UK standards with open and declared triangle records going under his 92Km flight. A fantastic flight, especially if you consider he was flying a Blozone Emfor. Amazing !

Mike's bonfire seems to have received a bit of a watering though, as his record has been dulled by the news that fellow pilot Brenda Read made a below-the-radar triangle of over 100Km the day before.  A fantastic flight, especially if you consider he was flying a Blozone Arten. Amazing !

Rumour has it that Brenda's flight will not be ratified as he failed to follow the UK rule of needing to start your triangle within 2.5Km of a fish and chip shop. Amazing !

A great start to 2011, and Pie would very much like to congratulate these pilots on their achievements. [we really would - Ed]

We would also like to point out that we noticed a few trends while compiling our list of record breakers...

Firstly, magazines such as Pie and XC-Rag are likely to be the only place you'll read about such records, as the bureaucrats down at the FIA seem to make it so stupidly complex to ratify a record many pilots don't even bother to submit their flights. Even Maurer's record is not recognised.

Secondly, it really is amazing that these records are being set using the full spectrum of paragliders available on the market today. Here at Pie we'd always thought that at any given time there is one dominant wing manufacturer but, as you can see, the facts speak for themselves.

Dial up some more Pie next month when we publish the results of our exclusive investigation where we uncover how many other manufacturers are still out there. [so far we've counted 3 - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

Dear Kitt

LAST WEEK we received a letter addressed to the editor. In itself not an unusual occurrence, let's face it we receive several every week, but this particular letter stood out in that it wasn't directly insulting the Pie editorial team or complaining about our reporting style.

So we read it.

It seems to be a copy of a letter addressed to one of the British Team Leaders, Burkitt (Kitt) Rud, a man who needs no introduction in some elemental circles. Strange we got a copy though.

We can only assume that by copying us the author would like his views aired. So as a leading international paragliding magazine, and no stranger to stirring muddy waters even further, we're happy to oblige.

Quote:

Dear Kit,

It is with regret that I find myself in a position where I feel obliged to resign my team place for the forthcoming World Chumpionships in Piedraheater.

As you know from our discussions I have become very concerned over the last year about the safety and thus the wisdom of flying the recent two-line competition gliders. This concern is three-fold.

Firstly, I strongly believe I'm too old for this shit.
It has been brought to my attention recently that I now have children and that getting myself killed chasing a ridiculous trophy is simply a risk I cannot justify any more. It rather seems my risk analysis over the past 20 years has been so flawed that I have repeatedly put myself in harms way, simply for the glory. This has to stop. "No more", I found myself saying to the mirror while shaving last week, "It's just not worth it". Besides, with kids in tow, the chicas won't even look at me twice, trophy or no trophy.

I just can't do it any more, Kitt !

Secondly, I'm clearly far too fat for this fucking sport now.
It's killing me you know. I can't even find a bloody wing to fit me and it seems to me that these two liners aren't strong enough for us lard asses. I am unusual in that I fly at weights well over 120Kg and I can tell you that at this flying weight you spend a lot of time wondering just how strong the anchor points are into the sail. Well, I do anyway.

In any case cutting more and more lines out of paragliders and making the remaining ones thinner is, in my opinion, dangerous and stupid and having seen a couple of gliders with line failure already last year I’m not prepared to keep taking the risk.

I just can't do it any more, Kitt !

Thirdly, these newer gliders are, in my opinion, and from evidence I’ve seen with my own eyes during competitions, almost irrecoverable by even very highly skilled pilots if they have large frontal collapses. It is true they collapse less but also true that if this happens the results are often catastrophic. Scary!

I just can't do it any more, Kitt !

I was hoping for some sensible direction from CIVL towards a safer and more enjoyable future but, as has so often been the case in the past, the recent plenary meeting pretty much decided to do nothing. As you well know, of course, I've always been a bit naive.

If a pilot like me cannot control a competition glider under all circumstances then the sport is rotten to the core and in need of change. Unless, of course, I've lost my bottle.

During conversations with you and with other team members I can see that there is a tacit pressure to fly the highest performance machine available (and therefore often the least safe) even if the pilot doesn’t feel capable enough to fly one. The best pilots in the world taking risks, I never saw that one coming!

How nice it would be if we could all go flying in the morning safe in the knowledge that we’d be coming home to our families safe and well again in the evening. (and with a trophy or two under our arm)

Best regards and good luck to the team,
The Braymanator
====

Well there you have it folks. Make of it what you will, but it rather seems that whoever he is, he's had enough of this shit. Or is simply too old for it. [and he just can't do it any more, Kitt - Ed]

[too tempting to pass up, Mark - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video