Manilla 2007 Mini-Special

Editorial - edited

Pie in the Sky would like to offer our heartfelt congratulations to all "Worlds" competitors for displaying great skill and determination in what turned out to be a difficult competition. We would like to specifically congratulate the winners, Bruce Goldsmith, Petra Slivova and the rest of the Czech Team in your success. Well done. We would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate the competition organisers for organising what seems to have been a trouble free and generally safe competition and for keeping the rest of the world updated in a timely manner.

Well done, one and all, and thanks for showing us mortals how the top-dogs do it.

Editorial - less edited

Please note, however, that we will continue to take the piss out of any & all of you from here on in as, quite frankly, we've got nothing better to do. It is quite likely that particular attention will be paid to Bruce Goldmedal and Petra Slipup over the next few issues, so don't say we didn't warn you. After all, you're the best in the world and if you can handle those bloody prototype wings, this should be fucking childsplay.

Those shites over at XC-Rag have come in at the last minute and wrecked our book deal, by out-bidding us for Bruce's upcoming memoires, "The Fucking Long Glide to Goal". Just to set the record straight, we thought of it first and it would seem that it's only money these comp bastards are interested in, not like the good old days, eh, Bruce?

Anyway, no use crying over spilt milk, and we won't be holding a grudge, especially not against some glossy jazz mag. So, here's a couple of rib ticklers to tide you over till the end of the month.

(Chief Ed)

Doin' a Bruce

Looking for a way to accurately describe the last few days, we broke out the dictionary here in the Pie offices and dug up a few little known gems:

Bruce: noun	as in: "Hey, Bruce mate"
	(1) a popular christian name.
	(2) an anchor used by floating oil rigs.
	(3) King of Scotland from 1306 to 1329.
	(4) Australian physician and bacteriologist.
	(5) slang for "Fine German Precision", especially relating to automobiles.
	(6) the 2007 World Paragliding Champion.
Doing a Bruce:	as in: "Hey mate, look, I'm doin' a Bruce"
	(1) attaching an anchor to a floating oil rig.
	(2) kicking the crap out of the English at Bannockburn.
	(3) dreaming up some new cretinous device for lazy BMW drivers.
	(4) whippin' 150 other competitors, half of which are 20 years younger than you.
	(5) flippin' a finger at a nation through the gratuitous use of a christian name.
	(6) winning the 10th FAI Paragliding World Championships.
To Bruce up:	as in: "I'm going to Bruce up, mate"
	(1) to give the kitchen a quick tidy.
	(2) to enhance the performance of a lawnmower.
	(3) to sharpen your Swiss Army Knife.
	(4) to compete in a free-flying competition while flying a wing you designed yourself and proceed to beat the competition while flying it.
Brucin' it up:	as in: "Stand back mate, I'm Brucin' it up"
	(1) to have a good time.
	(2) an Australian outdoor party.
	(3) to go to a party wishing you were back home waiting for the cuckoo clock to wake you up.
	(4) to dance and sing the night away, when normally you would be tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa.
To be Bruced:	as in: "Christ mate, I've been Bruced"
	(1) to slip unexpectedly.
	(2) to trip in an awkward manner.
	(3) to lose your Swiss Bank Account number.
	(4) to compete in a free-flying competition and to mess up the first task enough to allow a chick and an old guy flying a wing he knocked up himself to get ahead of you, eventually win the competition and leave you feeling like you missed your opportunity.
Brucin' on:	as in: "Yeah mate, he just Brucin' on"
	(1) to be consistant.
	(2) to soldier on relentlessly.
	(3) to not fuck it up on the first task.
	(4) to demonstrate consistantly good piloting skills while enduring difficult conditions over a period of 13 days, and having over 20 years of piloting experience to draw upon when facing those challenges.

Brucin' it up

There once was a man from Greolieres,

Who went to the comp without cares,

Although getting old,

He came home with the gold,

And the rest were left looking like spares.

There once was girl call Petra,

Who didn't have that little bit extra,

All they could see was her crack,

As she was leading the pack,

So they resorted to cutting her Spectra.

There once was a man without fears,

Who was older than most in his years,

The Swiss had to ask,

About the first task,

As he left poor old Maurer in tears.

Ba-boom.

Pie in the Sky
So funny you'll forget your legstraps