AS SOME of you may know, the worlds sole remaining superpower can be very decisive when it wants to. It can mobilise its $400billion army in mere weeks, it has landed men on the moon, it can photograph a licence plate from space and it can even give you your money back if your fries are cold. Pretty impressive, but here at Pie we think there are times when, quite frankly, they haven't got a fucking clue what they want.
The guys down at the US Hang-Wing-Floaty Association (USHWFA) have been considering a name change and we've all been watching from a distance. To some it's simply interesting, a diversion maybe, but to many of us it's been a rather amusing affair. To summarise, the association has simply been grappling with the concept of "Making sure your name represents your membership", and like most other grown-up organisations they are learning to adapt through time. As is usual in these cases they can't decide for sure what they do, who they represent and if they can define it properly.
The guys down at the US Hang-Wing-Floaty Association (USHWFA) have been considering a name change and we've all been watching from a distance. To some it's simply interesting, a diversion maybe, but to many of us it's been a rather amusing affair. To summarise, the association has simply been grappling with the concept of "Making sure your name represents your membership", and like most other grown-up organisations they are learning to adapt through time. As is usual in these cases they can't decide for sure what they do, who they represent and if they can define it properly.
The US are, as always, a few years behind everyone else as they clearly wish their in-house fighting to be available online through the use of the latest "as-it-happens" technologies. When the Brits went through this same undignified process 10 years ago, it was mainly done behind closed toilet doors using rumour and gossip as the main means of communication and maybe a bit of email bouncing off the EuroPG list server. Americans should take note though, the Brits did screw it up sufficiently enough to end up with 2 associations, the BHAP, a national association representing HG & PG pilots, and the BHCP, a national council representing a small group of people who got all upset because they didn't get what they wanted. The Yanks, however, are playing this one out in widescreen, and it's all available for download on a broadband link near you. Dimpled chads and all.
Salvation is at hand though, dudes. Unlike the Brits 10 years ago, the Yanks have "Pie in the Sky" to offer a helping hand and it is with great pride and a feeling of just wanting to help out some old friends that we at Pie would like to present a solution. That's right we've got the name for your shiny new association. The US Unpowered Pilots Flying United in Common Knowledge Amalgamated Society, the US-UPFUCKAS. That's right, it's us up fuckas.
Just imagine the members renewed sense of purpose on the hill, "Who are you?" the wuffos will ask, "It's Us Up Fuckas", will be the cooler than cool reply, and when the time comes that you need help filling out that insurance claim, "Who you gonna call? UpFuckas, that's who". When you need to renew your membership just get on the phone and dial "1-800-UpFuckas", no problem remembering that phone number now. Think about it, the marketing opportunities are positively endless, the kids these days would love to be a member of the "UpFuckas Possie", the membership would soar and the merchandising will fly off the shelves. Most important of all though, the "www.usupfuckas.com" website is still available, so there'll be no upsetting your membership by choosing one of those mickey-mouse internet addresses. With a ".com" in the bag the members will always find your website first time, it won't be necessary to try ".com", ".org", ".info", ".net" or ".aero" when they want to read your latest updates.Keen to street-test our new proposed name we popped into Gory Pines and got some on-the-hill opinion. Although we didn't get much comment, here's what the locals had to say:
"What? They changed the name to USHPA in March, you dumb-fucks."
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1977 "Airport '77" underwater scenes
Funnier than the 1977 "Airport '77" underwater scenes