Friday, August 6, 2010

Scorchio Recordio

FANTASTICO NEWS is coming in that a new record has been set in Spain. It would appear that the countries distance record has been smashed and a new site record set for that well-known hangout, Piedrahita.

Details are sketchy at the moment, but it would appear that Frenchman Thomas "DM" Putain has covered over 310Km, flying from Pena Negra, the local take-off at "Pied", as it's known to visitors. For years pilots have been flying north-east, following the convergence while keeping within a glide or three of the never-ending ridge and almost always within 10Km or so of the straight, fast retrieve roads. Thousands of kilometers and many distance records have been set by repeating the world famous and surprisingly simple mantra, "Follow Steve". It seems that Thomas, however, has bucked this 20 year trend with his shiney, new record and gone off in a new direction, so to speak.

Hopping on her bike, Pie reporter Silvia "Encima" de Ella, freewheeled her bike the 50Km down the road for an interview. Unfortunately for us, Silvia arrived the day after the record was set, so was a little too early to interview Thomas. It seems that having flown most of the way to the beach, he simply wasn't going to waste the opportunity and decided to stay for a few days and soak up some sun.

Not wanting to waste the trip, Silvia hooked up with local free-flying guru and Gillette rep Steve Jamon Serrano for a quick chat about this new record.

"Steve, it's fantastic this new record isn't it?", she said.

"Absolutely Silvia. This is great for Piedrahita, great for paragliding and great for Thomas", replied the Jambon. He continued, "There's nothing like setting a new record to encourage people to come over and fly one of Europe's top free-flying sites."

"That's definitely true", she replied, "it really is great that this record has been set here, what with the Worlds coming here in 2011"

"I know, I know", he replied, "It's free advertising really"

"So our readers will be keen to know Steev, did you meet Thomas before his epic flight?"

"Well, I bump into most pilots when they stay here, or even if they're just passing through", he continued, "Most people pop in at some point during their stay. I get through 10 Euros of Nescafe every day during the season you know"

"Wow, that is a lot of coffee. Did you meet Thomas?"

"Err, not exactly. He seemed pretty confident, his groundhandling skills were up to par and both him and his friend seemed to have their own ideas about what they wanted to do and I'm always great with that"

"But he didn't follow the standard advice for this site though, did he?"

"I don't want to talk about it", said Esteeeve.

At this point Silvia realised there wasn't any point chatting much longer. After all, Thomas was the record breaker and he wasn't anywhere to be seen. After some asking around and the swapping of a few favours she did manage to get Thomas' mobile phone number and called him up.

"Hi Thomas, Pie in the Sky here. Great news about your record."
"Ello. Yes, great newzz", he replied, with a slight accent.
"Where are you?"
"On zee beach at Alicante."
"How do you feel?"
"Fantaztic sweetheart. Never felt better. New record. New tan. Fantaztic."
"Esteve Jamon says it's great to have a new site record at Piedrahita."
"Did he?"
"He says it's just great."
"Did he?"
"Yes"
"He told the pair of us we were suicidal maniacs if we tried flying over Gredos."
"Really?"
"Oui, and he zaid we should stick to zee tried and tested routes zat have been zo successful for 20 yearz. Head north east, he told us."
"Did he really? But you didn't, did you?"
"Ze fuck we did. We 'ad a practice run to zee south a couple of dayz before and made 240k, and az we woz a lookin for a record, we went south again."
"Fantastic. Ok. Well have a nice time on the beach."
"Salut"

So there you have it folks, a new record, an old mantra and a change of direction at an old favourite.

[312Km. Wow. - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1933 "Graf Zeppelin No Smoking Sign" thefts