IT SEEMS that wikileaks.org are so busy publishing classified US Army documents, commonly known as "the truth about deaths, murders, mistakes and random shootings in far-flung places no-one gives enough of a shit about", to publish leaked corporate documents. It rather seems that people are turning to regular media outlets to distribute illicit information and clearly some see Pie as a suitable outlet.
Here at Pie we're professionals, we expend every effort to try and authenticate all information we're given, no matter how slim the details might be. However, we're also a bunch of headline-grabbing, fame-seeking, shit-peddling, drama-queens who'll just about publish anything and be damned. It's in our blood. Besides, we don't have expensive advertisers to piss off, so why would we give a shit?
This was uppermost in our minds when we were listening to a micro-cassette we receive anonymously in the post last Thursday. It took us some 45 minutes to find something to play the tape and a further 2 hours to convert it to a useful format, but eventually we had a mp3 file that we could listen to and work with. It rapidly became clear it was an illicite recording of part of a mobile phone conversation. After putting our technology expert, Wendel "Grepit" Gardner, to work cleaning up the recording we could transcribe parts of the conversation. Some parts are simply undecipherable though, but what we could understand is transcribed below.
For the sake of simplicity we'll call the voices A and B, but please don't read anything into that.
Copy:
[BEGIN]
Voice A: "...GARBLED... between them with soap. [LAUGHING] It's the best one I've heard in years."
Voice B: "...GARBLED... [LAUGHING] Well yes so would I, if I were in her position. [LAUGHING]"
Voice A: "Thinking more on the subject, another 4 months is ridiculous! I'm flying a borrowed Blozone right now, for God sake. Christ, is there nothing we can do about it?"
Voice B: "Not really, we're making efforts to at least make the 3-liner look ...GARBLED... probably not notice"
Voice A: "For me though, the most important issue is to get them to agree to remove the you-know-what's"
Voice B: "I know, but they've had them for years."
Voice A: "Well that's as maybe, but they're completely useless and they spoil the layout. They defeat many of the advances we've been making with clean designs and we'll have to re-model certain parts in software. Honestly, they have no place being there."
Voice B: "I know what you're saying, I agree. We've always agreed on this point you know we have. Listen, I'll do my best and ...GARBLED..."
Voice A: "I know, I know. But they just don't exist in nature, certainly nothing like that. There's just no call for them, some larger primaries do affect the tip vortices, but they're actually claiming to significantly reduce the induced drag. It's bad science, you know that, and I just don't like it."
Voice B: "Well that's as maybe, but we might just have to go along with them regardless. Let's face it, they've got all the ...GARBLED... thousand or two."
Voice A: "Well just let them know that if they want access to the tunnel they've got to keep us happy. It's worked for years and there's no changing a winning formula. Ok?"
Voice B: "...GARBLED... complete bollocks. You know that right."
Voice A: "Don't talk to me about him, no-one gives a shit about tumbling. It's just publicity. Nothing more."
Voice B: "All right."
Voice A: "I'll call you later in the week."
Voice B: "Ok. Salut."
Voice A: "Bye."
[END]
Make of it what you will. In all truth there's no confirming who the voices belong to, or checking if the recording is authentic, but in the interests of general openness we're happy to publish.
(and be damned)
This was uppermost in our minds when we were listening to a micro-cassette we receive anonymously in the post last Thursday. It took us some 45 minutes to find something to play the tape and a further 2 hours to convert it to a useful format, but eventually we had a mp3 file that we could listen to and work with. It rapidly became clear it was an illicite recording of part of a mobile phone conversation. After putting our technology expert, Wendel "Grepit" Gardner, to work cleaning up the recording we could transcribe parts of the conversation. Some parts are simply undecipherable though, but what we could understand is transcribed below.
For the sake of simplicity we'll call the voices A and B, but please don't read anything into that.
Copy:
[BEGIN]
Voice A: "...GARBLED... between them with soap. [LAUGHING] It's the best one I've heard in years."
Voice B: "...GARBLED... [LAUGHING] Well yes so would I, if I were in her position. [LAUGHING]"
Voice A: "Thinking more on the subject, another 4 months is ridiculous! I'm flying a borrowed Blozone right now, for God sake. Christ, is there nothing we can do about it?"
Voice B: "Not really, we're making efforts to at least make the 3-liner look ...GARBLED... probably not notice"
Voice A: "For me though, the most important issue is to get them to agree to remove the you-know-what's"
Voice B: "I know, but they've had them for years."
Voice A: "Well that's as maybe, but they're completely useless and they spoil the layout. They defeat many of the advances we've been making with clean designs and we'll have to re-model certain parts in software. Honestly, they have no place being there."
Voice B: "I know what you're saying, I agree. We've always agreed on this point you know we have. Listen, I'll do my best and ...GARBLED..."
Voice A: "I know, I know. But they just don't exist in nature, certainly nothing like that. There's just no call for them, some larger primaries do affect the tip vortices, but they're actually claiming to significantly reduce the induced drag. It's bad science, you know that, and I just don't like it."
Voice B: "Well that's as maybe, but we might just have to go along with them regardless. Let's face it, they've got all the ...GARBLED... thousand or two."
Voice A: "Well just let them know that if they want access to the tunnel they've got to keep us happy. It's worked for years and there's no changing a winning formula. Ok?"
Voice B: "...GARBLED... complete bollocks. You know that right."
Voice A: "Don't talk to me about him, no-one gives a shit about tumbling. It's just publicity. Nothing more."
Voice B: "All right."
Voice A: "I'll call you later in the week."
Voice B: "Ok. Salut."
Voice A: "Bye."
[END]
Make of it what you will. In all truth there's no confirming who the voices belong to, or checking if the recording is authentic, but in the interests of general openness we're happy to publish.
(and be damned)
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1933 "Graf Zeppelin No Smoking Sign" thefts
Funnier than the 1933 "Graf Zeppelin No Smoking Sign" thefts