WHITE IS the new black! It would appear that some manufacturers have begun running out of certain colour materials and are being forced into producing one-off colour combinations to satisfy demand for their best-selling gliders. According to industry rumours, one manufacturer has almost entirely run-out of white cloth.
We can imagine that it's pretty difficult to predict the demand for specific colours when a new glider is released, and we'd like to assist the manufacturers by asking pilots to be as patient as possible when waiting for their new baby to arrive. Pilots should also try to keep in mind that it's not just the customers that are suffering. The latest gossip suggested that demand is now so high for white cloth that top management at some PG manufacturers are being forced make changes.
"This is no joking matter!", said Calvin Cavanaghgogogoch, chief head of Blozone.
"I haven't been forced to make changes like this since I was in my 20's for god's sake, and trust me, that was a bloody long time ago sweetheart", he told on-the-spot Pie reporter Maribel "Rose" Culottes.
"It'z just zee white colour, yes? Zo zee zituacion can't be zat bad, can it?", enquired Rose.
"Listen love", he continued, "When I showed up at the office last Monday, did anyone say 'Good Morning', 'Salut', or 'Fancy a coffee Mike?' Did they fuck!"
"I beg your pardonne?", replied Rose.
"They just asked me if I was wearing white kecks and then proceeded to frog march me to the lav's.", he continued. "Before I knew what was going on, they'd locked me in the cubicle and had chucked a pair or red Y-fronts over the door. They said that we all have to make sacrifices when running a small business and now it was my turn. They then informed me that they'd all being going commando since week last Tuesday, and the entire production department has been completely naked under their overalls all month."
"Last I could work out, my pants were last seen as part of the upper cloth of a DHV-2 wing being loaded into a DHL van and heading for Scotland.". He continued, lowering his voice somewhat, "I'll let you into a little secret, there's a pilot in Holland that's actually quite happy with his new glider and he's totally oblivious to the fact it's entirely made of the R&D departments shreddies. We called him to ask how he was getting on and the feedback was actually very positive. He told us that his early morning flights are significantly improved, so maybe this is something we'll look into in the near future."
"Of course, that's assuming Russo or Luc don't get frostbite in St Andre. You know, our boys are over there right now proving our outright domination of all things waypoint-driven, and they're doing it without their lucky pants!"
Here at Pie, we openly admit to knowing less than sod-all about wing design, but we know a fair bit about underwear, and we're sincerely hoping these revelations can assist with future wing design in some way.
Let's face it, wouldn't it be great if you could just throw your wing in with the whites at 40°?
We can imagine that it's pretty difficult to predict the demand for specific colours when a new glider is released, and we'd like to assist the manufacturers by asking pilots to be as patient as possible when waiting for their new baby to arrive. Pilots should also try to keep in mind that it's not just the customers that are suffering. The latest gossip suggested that demand is now so high for white cloth that top management at some PG manufacturers are being forced make changes.
"This is no joking matter!", said Calvin Cavanaghgogogoch, chief head of Blozone.
"I haven't been forced to make changes like this since I was in my 20's for god's sake, and trust me, that was a bloody long time ago sweetheart", he told on-the-spot Pie reporter Maribel "Rose" Culottes.
"It'z just zee white colour, yes? Zo zee zituacion can't be zat bad, can it?", enquired Rose.
"Listen love", he continued, "When I showed up at the office last Monday, did anyone say 'Good Morning', 'Salut', or 'Fancy a coffee Mike?' Did they fuck!"
"I beg your pardonne?", replied Rose.
"They just asked me if I was wearing white kecks and then proceeded to frog march me to the lav's.", he continued. "Before I knew what was going on, they'd locked me in the cubicle and had chucked a pair or red Y-fronts over the door. They said that we all have to make sacrifices when running a small business and now it was my turn. They then informed me that they'd all being going commando since week last Tuesday, and the entire production department has been completely naked under their overalls all month."
"Of course, that's assuming Russo or Luc don't get frostbite in St Andre. You know, our boys are over there right now proving our outright domination of all things waypoint-driven, and they're doing it without their lucky pants!"
Here at Pie, we openly admit to knowing less than sod-all about wing design, but we know a fair bit about underwear, and we're sincerely hoping these revelations can assist with future wing design in some way.
Let's face it, wouldn't it be great if you could just throw your wing in with the whites at 40°?
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" video
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" video