Sticky Stuff

HERE AT Pie recently, we've been thinking of ways to improve our image and during a quick brainstorming session someone suggested the idea of wing sponsorship. Good idea, yes, but sadly we were clueless. How do you get a logo on a wing? What do you use as material? How do you get a shiny corporate logo to look so crisp and clean on a wing? Clearly this was something that needed looking at in depth.

We put out some feelers and rapidly discovered there are a variety of methods for getting a logo on a wing, some of which we'd never heard of, and it was becoming clear this was an ideal excuse for some Pie testing. We purchased six 2-year old DHV-1 wings and prepared each with the Pie logo using one of the following methods.

Stick-on ripstop: all went really well as the ripstop material was easy to apply and during the flight tests, Chuck "Winnie" Bago, our test pilot, seemed happy there were no adverse aerodynamic effects to the wing. We even managed to get quite a few publicity shots done, before Chuck could no longer hold back and headed off to find some thermals and make a day of it. The sticky material held up well for the first hour, right up until one particulary strong core, when the entire logo was ripped from the surface of the wing. Consequently, Pie in the Sky are pleased to announce our new sponsorship deal with a Vodafone mast somewhere in the Pyrenees, slightly to the east of Castejon-de-Sos we think. Golden Eagles and Griffon Vultures had not been our intended advertising market, but clearly they will have to do, as we're certainly not climbing that hill and working out how to get up a 200ft mast to get our logo back.

Stitch-on ripstop: unfortunately due to overenthusiasm on the part of our machinists and the use of stronger thread than originally intended, the test flight was one of the more interesting. The test wing failed to fully open at takeoff and, as it turned out, this was the wing we had taken to our only local cliff where there are very little in the way of takeoff abort options. Once in the air the stitching won the battle and, suffice to say, it is possible to fly 2 halves of a ripped paraglider independently. With half a wing attached to each carabiner it turns out that each half can be flown as an independent wing, and as long as you don't deep stall either half you'll be fine apparently. In fact, Chuck had so much fun, we've registered it at the patents office and are currently waiting for Blozone to get in touch regarding licencing before making it their next "latest-thing". As far as the logo is concerned Chuck was full of praise for the "Pie-in" half which held up pretty well, but the "the-Sky" section failed to perfom he felt. "It couldn't glide for shit", were Chucks final words on the matter.

Iron-on ripstop: quite a simple technique really. Simply set the iron on the minimum setting, no hotter than 20°C (68F) and place the logo anywhere on wing. What could go wrong? Not being particularly good with household chores we made the near-fatal mistake of giving it to chief-editor Rod Bailout's mum, who proceeded with the iron set to its maximum temperature. With steam. It would also seems that she then proceeded to iron the entire wing, adding creases when folding it, apparently so it would fit in the laundry cupboard. So please remember to be very specific if you're planning to leave the ironing to someone else. The testing bore all the hallmarks of another classic Pie day out as Chuck had the fright of his life when a slight crosswind caused the entire wing to concertina left to right along the aforementioned beautifully ironed creases. It really has to be seen to be believed, but apparently mothers ironed creases are stronger than mother nature. You've never seen a pilot reach for his reserve so fast, and Chuck has since asked to be removed from the Pie test-pilot list.

Large paper-based stickers: this was a unique test in many ways. We have used stickers on our helmets for years and could see no reason not to use larger ones on the bottom of the wing. Chuck, having been persuaded to fly again, said he was happy with them, and that the added weight had less impact than we originally expected. In fact, if a stronger adhesive is used we feel this could be the way forward. The only drawback of not using a permanent adhesive became apparent when, after a particularly violent frontal collapse, a lifted corner stuck to the front of Chucks helmet. The entire sticker unpeeled itself as the wing re-inflated, leaving Chuck unable to see a damn thing and looking like an oversized chinese spring roll. Luckily, Chuck was still able to hear through his integrated headset, and we managed to safely talk him down into some small trees near the official landing field. We look forward to further testing with permanent adhesive in the future, assuming we can get Chuck to talk to us again.

Direct ink printing: next up was printing ink directly onto the surface of the wing fabric and, to be honest, it looked great, in fact it produced one of the best results in terms of getting an exact replica of the design. Things took a turn for the worse quite quickly, however, as we arrived on-site ready to do some flight testing. Upon opening the stuff sack, we discovered the ink was a little more corrosive than expected and had produced what can best be described as a three dimensional effect in the wing surface. This was a Pie test after all, so nothing could stop us from a full and complete set of results. Chuck, on the other hand, could not be persuaded to get out the van, so we resorted to strapping 3 full Kamelbacs into the harness, inflated it by hand, and pushed it off the hill. Chuck had clearly shown incredible foresight when declining this flight as we soon found ourselves picking up small pieces of chemically corroded ripstop nylon from the hillside, and very soon after that, in the queue at Decathlon for three new kamelbacs.

Tied 'n' Dyed wash-in: not really suitable for direct product advertising, this method is more appropriate for someone wishing to stand out in the crowd, but we've included it in our test to help finish off the Chuck storyline and to give the article a balanced feel. The Tied 'n' Dyed method involves stuffing your wing into a protective cloth bag, putting the whole damn lot in the washing machine along with half a cup of bleach and two spoons of your favourite material dye. The only thing that needs to be double checked is the setting on the washing machine, so please make sure you use the super-cool setting with a maximum temperature of 30°C. No rinse. No spin. Once the machine has finished, simply remove the wing and hang it up to dry, just as you would if your favourite SIV manouvre had gone wrong and they'd fished you out Lake Annecy with a big stick. The very next day things were looking good, the wing had dried out successfully, we'd re-stretched the lines and re-attached the harness. At takeoff, the wing came up well and looked stunning in its new colour scheme with streaks of electric pink zipping cross the surface, giving the wing a strange hippie look. Here was a wing that would stand out in the crowd all right. Chuck demanded 500 bucks cash to get out the van and a further 500 to get strapped in, although once kiting the wing, he looked confident and up for it. Very rapidly he settled down, turned and went. Unfortunately for Chuck, it rapidly became obvious we had buggered up the temperature setting with the washing machine and the wing had "shrunk in the wash". From a simple visual inspection the wing looked perfect, it held it's shape & kited really well, but as Chuck was now discovering, it was now only about 25% of its original size and capable of supporting the full weight of a 4 year old child. Unfortunately for Chuck, he was a full grown man and currently accelerating down the glide path like a cruise missile on finals. We'd seen speedgliding before, but no-one's ever seen this before. Trust us. Looking through the binoculars we could see his attempt to flare as he "came in", but this only resorted in a conversion of energy and he instantly climbed about a Km or so. The wing stalled at the apogee and then rocketed back down towards the forest on the other side of the landing field. We got another quick glimpse of what may have been an attempted "flare" about 5Km away, and then we lost sight of him. When we drove off to look for him we had no trouble finding the outstandingly coloured wing but Chuck, however, was no-where to be found.

After the dust settled on the testiong fiasco we decided against spending our publicity budget on wing advertising, instead we spent the whole lot in the bar raising a glass to our long lost test pilot Chuck. The last we heard, Chuck was selling mango's in Barbados and had no intention of either restarting his flying career or re-entering journalism. Good luck Chuck.

Pie in the Sky
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