ONE OF the more recent additions to the SkyTalk range of paragliders seems to have got the industry talking again this month. As you may, or may not, have noticed their recent addition has had its third size pass DVH certification and this seems to be causing some concern among the responsible manufacturers.
"Normally we look forward to friendly competition from WhyWalk, it's healthy and good for the customers", said arch-rival Chris Ruining, MD of Occasionally-UP International, "But its just gone too far now, somebody has to tell them to stop or someone's going to get hurt."
"Three years ago when FlyWalk introduced the "Tequilla" the industry reacted with a wry smile", he told us in perfect english, "We all related their wing to fun, let's face it, this is a drink that most people regard as something to start a party with. You know, when you're on holiday and you want a good night out, what do you order? So naturally, we all thought cool name for a DHV1-2, and harmless fun with the name. Besides, our Sometimes-UP team pilots have a tequilla or two before they set off testing the protos, it helps them relax. Well, all except Ollie obviously, he's a Margarita man".
Err...
"Then two years ago when they introduced their "Joint" it has to be said, there were a few raised eyebrows", he continued, clearly enjoying speaking openly, "It was a good joke really, although we're Germans we can enjoy a relaxing "smoke" as much as the next man. Maybe not quite as well as the Spanish, but we can enjoy ourselves too. Anyway, it was fine, no-one took it too seriously, and to be honest, I've always been of the opinion there's nothing wrong with a quick "spliff" before you take fare paying passengers to the skies".
Well...
"But they've just gone too far with this one", he continued, "It's a PPG wing for god's sake, haven't they heard about safety? I mean "Scotch" what kind of name is that for a motorised wing? It's tantamount to inviting people to drink and drive. It's got to stop, it's downright dangerous. Some innnocent bystander will get hurt soon, and 200m further down the beach they'll find a pissed pilot lying on the beach with half a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label in his hands and a 4-foot propeller up his ass. It's just gone too far, in fact, here at Fucked-UP we've been wondering if someone over there has a drugs problem, you know?"
Thanks Chris, but maybe we'll leave the investigation of this one to XC-Rag.
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1947 "Chuck Yeager Speed Camera" photos
Funnier than the 1947 "Chuck Yeager Speed Camera" photos