The Carbon Issue

WE'RE ALL fully aware of the footprint we leave on this planet and that we might be leaving behind a mess for our children and our children's children. And our children's children's children. And our children's children's children's children. And their kids. So it was with some considerable pleasure that we watched over the past year as the paragliding manufacturers groped around with this issue and came to terms with how they can protect their future.

It was one of the manufacturers in France that first decided to tackle the Carbon issue. Of course, we're not particularly surprised in this day and age of media hype and jingoism that it was a bunch of ex-anglo, cheese-eating surrender monkeys that came up with the idea. What did come as a surprise though, was their company name. Amazingly it's as environmentally friendly as you can get, so it's no wonder that Blozone were the first to dive in, so to speak.

Clearly we'd need to get out there and talk to them. These boys are setting new ground here, and us boys at Pie want to get on it and get some facts. Oh, and obviously we take our environment seriously too. Oh yes indeedy.

"So, Rusty. Tell us. What made you guys start thinking about the carbon issue?", we prodded gently at the only test-pilot not quite fast enough to run away when we approached.

"It was a performance issue initially", he started. "You see, we felt that the introduction of carbon would give us that extra rigidity that we'd been desperately looking for. For ages now we've all been stealing the big Gib's idea, but we've all been quite desperately trying different ideas too. No more trips down the Centre de Jardin looking for bright red cable ties for us now! Finally we had an idea of our own! Carbon. We love it!"

"You love carbon? How can this be environmentally friendly? You'll have to explain that again Russo", we asked. We were lost really, we just didn't get it.

"Look guys, we're winning everything. I mean everything. What's even better is that we're winning without the carbon too. We just don't need it yet. It's great! Lucky-Luke left his gps-vario in the hotel by accident during the last comp and he still spanked the Adwance boys. His old 76S tracklog showed a whole point glide over Chrigel Mullets proto".

"Even you tossers at Pie could probably walk away with a trophy if you showed up with one of our two-liners", he said laughingly.

We could live with the fact we might not have fully understood the Carbon story, but suggesting that we would stoop so low as to enter comps just to win was too much. Before we left the factory Rusty Ogler took us round the back and showed us the new two-line technologies and how they had developed. It became pretty clear we'd misunderstood what they were up to. We were disappointed. We'd hoped to find a company keen to reduce its carbon footprint, but had found the opposite. In fact the only plus we could see was the saving of the third set of lines and a few hundred cable ties.

On the flight home the mood was quite sombre to say the least. We took out our HB pencils and sharpened them slowly in deep contemplation of what this meant. No-one gave a damn about the environment, the Carbon issue was really about selling more wings to more pilots and nothing more sophisticated than that. Shit!

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident