Outed

HERE WAS an unusual issue we thought, upon receiving a letter recently. The letter described how a pilot has clearly been having some local issues with, shall we say, his personal lifestyle choices. Now here at Pie, we're proud of our open-minded attitude towards anyone and everyone. Whoever you are, whatever you are, wherever you're from and whatever you choose to do in the privacy of your own leather-studded underpants is your own business. This is our attitude towards just about everything we do here at Pie, and it's served us pretty well so far. We do, however, understand that there are people who take a dim view of others who don't agree with them or who choose to live life differently from themselves. The Spanish Inquisition could be a case in point, for example.

So we were happy to offer what help we could for poor old Charlie when he wrote to us saying that he'd been quickly outed at his local flying sites and has been having some problems with his gear ever since. We could imagine the small-minded locals getting upset with someone they thought as different to themselves. We could imagine them making some last-minute adjustments to his harness when he was taking that final piss on takeoff. Something to scare him off perhaps. Something that would help him decide to find another flying site maybe.

Bastards.

We decided against phoning in advance or emailing, instead we headed on over to the coastal sites south of Barcelona where we thought we would just roll up and try and witness some of this bigoted behaviour first hand. After checking their sites guide we headed over to the Ginebra-Rosa takeoff and sat down waiting to witness some of this unacceptable behaviour towards a fellow pilot. After a couple of hours or so, a small guy rolled up with a big glider bag and an even bigger smile on his face. Perhaps this was our man, we thought. We chatted for ages, asking him about the site, the local conditions, what to expect, when the sea breeze kicked in, all the usual visiting pilot questions flowed forth. Carlos seemed really happy for the company and more than willing to impart what seemed to be years of local experience. After an hour or so he seemed to think this might be about as good as it got, and started getting his kit unpacked. While doing so, he turned to us and asked a question.

"I 'ath been a wondering, ever thinth I got thethe new mothquetoneth wether they are thetup right.", he said in heavily accented English. "I 'ath been a 'aving thome ithues with them. I 'ath even thent thome letterth athkin' for 'elp, you know. Perhapth you could 'av a quick look. You guyth theem like you ith well travelled, tho perhapth you could thee if I've inthtalled them right. Would you mind 'avin' a quick look at my thetup?"

"Of course", we said, happy to assist in any way.

"I ith uthin' thethe new Charley Quickly Outed'th, and I jutht can't theem to get them to thtay in correctly. Maybe therth a thpethial thing I needth to do.", he said.

"Charley Quick Outs you say?".

Bugger.

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" video