Getting Caught

HAVE YOU ever wondered what it looks like when cheating mother fuckers get caught cheating like mother fuckers?

No?

Ok then...

"PWC Blozone Gonzo 2M" versus "Air Turkey Blozone Gonzo 2M"

Attachment points

El nombre del piloto se ha retenido. [Because it's not his fault - Ed]

Pie in the Sky. Telling it like it is... because no-one else will. 

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

Beans Are Beans

WE WOULD like to print a retraction and would like to apologise unreservedly to the hard-working, moral, diligent, trustworthy, incorruptible journalists at "Pie in the Sky PLC".

And one day we might.

It would seem those hard-working, moral, diligent, trustworthy, incorruptible hacks over at the Pie offices don't give a flying fuck about beans after all. Well played!


If we had a back page, this article would be on it.
It would be down near the bottom.
And it would be in really small print.
Just below an apology to Elton John.
And just above the news of our impending donation of 50K to a charity of Elton's choice.
It would be just to the left of an advert for a "barely used" Blozone Gonzo 2M.
But above a really glossy advert for the impending release of the new Gonzo 3.0.

Our front page, on the other hand, would have a huge banner headline saying "Handz off our vings, Fritz" with some photos of semi-naked women. That were semi-naked.


Good call !  [ although we'll believe it when we see it - Ed ]

Yours sincerely,
Chief Editor
[ We reserve the right to retract any retraction that may need retracting at any time and without prior notice - Ed ]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

The Best Beans

IT IS with deep shame that we write to inform all subscribers that from this moment onwards the professional journalists here at "Pie in the Sky PLC" will be unable to fully report any story that negatively impacts our advertisers. "Heinz beans are great!"

For many years now the hacks here at Pie have only been able to afford our slack-arsed, jet-setting, fuck-off-round-the-world-when-we-feel-like-it life styles thanks to the glossy adverts on the inside front and back covers of our XC Rag. "Heinz beans are simply the best!"

It's thanks to these payments of 10 grand a page that we can afford to fly our lovely new "demo" gliders at the best sites world-wide, whenever the hell we want. "Heinz beans! Great beans!"

Of course, there are only a few manufacturers who can afford the really big shiny ads and, as you might expect, we must keep these chaps happy. If, for example, one of our great friends were to slip up and be caught lying their ass off in public, you can be sure we would be too busy reporting on something entirely different. Or nothing at all. "Heinz beans, great for the kids!"

Up to now, you may have accidentally come to the conclusion that we Pie journalists were here to write interesting free-flying articles and that we would cover all angles of our sport in depth. How wrong you were, you misguided fools. "Heinz beans are the best beans!"

We have only ever been in it for the money, the lifestyle and the free time we get between throwing together 750 words for page 23, re-wording the articles submitted to us by underpaid "staff writers" and reformatting the articles submitted by our friendly advertisers themselves. "Heinz beans. Only the best!"

Unfortunately, or so it would seem, our lack of commitment to you readers may now be too obvious to hide, so we thought we'd take this opportunity to write to each and every one of you individually to let you know why. "Heinz beans are the best-tasting beans!"

It's the cash. It always has been and it always will be.

The writing always came second. Couldn't you tell?

Yours sincerely,

Chief Editor

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

Tolerance

LANGUAGES ARE living beings. It seems they rarely sit still long enough to be caught and killed. They're always on the move, and as we pass through this life we can witness their change. Sometimes daily.

Occasionally a word, that for many years you'd only heard now and again, pops into daily use for no apparent reason. Sometimes it's being used differently than how it was before, like.

There are many examples to choose from, especially in this modern, wired, mobile, tweet-a-face-friend world were hooked into; "hoody", "bling", "hater", "unfriend", "tolerance",  "tweet"...

Hang on... rewind... tolerance?

Ah, yes... "Tolerance"....


tol·er·ance  [tol-er-uh ns]
noun

1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
2. concern for ideas, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
3. the act or capacity of enduring; endurance.
4. a permitted variation of a specified quantity, especially in the dimensions of a machine or part.
5. the power of enduring or resisting the action of a poison, drug, etc.

It struck this editor recently [as many things do - Ed] that many in the PG world might wish to peruse the various definitions of this word.

 - perhaps the wing manufacturers might wish to take note of 5).
 - it might be a good idea for pilots worldwide to take 1) & 2) on board.
 - maybe Air Turkey could revisit 4).
 - we're guessing that Blozone may wish to read 1), 2), 3), 4) & 5). (especially 3)

We very much wanted to add SIVL to the list but, although we're pretty confident they can write well, we're not sure they actually bother to read much. We also wanted to add a 6), but we bottled it at the last minute. It was something to do with half a metre. [or something like that - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident

Blozone Warrants...

AN ANONYMOUS mail through the letterbox appears to have woken the editor...

Upon further investigation, it seems to be a Blozone Gonzo 2M EN certificate.
Make of it what you will...

(click to enlarge)

[Non-native English speakers should take note of the various ways "warrant" may be used - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident

Mad fucker takes on comp scene

A MAD fucker is taking on the comp scene!

It would seem this is being done primarily because the fuckwits who organise the top level of this sport prefer golf and have been alone in dark rooms for way too long.

Common sense was last seen heading for the hills in 2009, clearly caught a monster thermal and hasn't been seen since.

Good luck Mad(s), et al !

[Err... that's it - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident

It is with great sadness...

IT IS with great sadness and deep regret that we must report the death of competition paragliding.

Cat-1, as we all knew him, died of asphyxiation during the 2011/2012 season. After a long and troubling illness, he finally passed over on Saturday when finally succumbing to Dual Reservitis.

After years as a victim of various illnesses it is, to some extent, a relief that he will suffer no more.

Since 2010 he had suffered consistent bouts of "Manufacturer Over Enthusiasm", including "Chronic Carbonitis", as we all know, a crippling disease if not diagnosed during the early stages.

Following these "technological advances", during the summer of 2011, he went down with a near-terminal case of "Pilot-Over-Confidence" with devastating consequences. Ever since, he's suffered varying forms of chronic "Over-Regulation", a sad sight for sure. From these early signs I think many of us knew it was just a matter of time, and we made our peace.

Many of the nails in his coffin have been thanks to the slow and painful onslaught of further equipment demands as he was transformed into a twisted shadow of his former self. Bent double under the weight of the "new requirements" it has, as you well know, been painful to watch. This was not the man we knew and loved. This was not the free spirit that we remember reaching for the skies, with the wind in his hair, his fingers caressing the b-lines and leaning well back on full bar at 50m to snatch that €54.99 trophy.

The coroner is expected to investigate, but we all know what the predictable conclusions will be. It is, without doubt, a sad case of regulators failing to regulate with a "soft touch" and pilots failing to understand that they could have helped.

If only either group could have been sufficiently arsed to talk to each other more we might not be getting our black suits dry-cleaned and booking a half-day off work next Wednesday.

CAT, we will remember you for what you gave us. We will never forget. [well actually we will - Ed]

By request of the family, no flowers please.
Donations are kindly welcomed for the "Blozone Fucked It, You Bought It, The Bureaucrats Reacted, And Now You Pay The Price Research Foundation". [Easy tiger - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident

SIVL Plenary - picturebook edition

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Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

Jack Black Reporting

TEAM B pilot and part-time WikiLeaks reporter Jack Black gives us the low-down on the latest wings flying (and falling out the sky) at the PWC Superfinal in Valle.

Pilots might be especially interested in his comments on Blozone's Gonzo, the IcePack-6 and the new Jin-X wings.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Quote:

-
Dear Big-Wide-World,

After a week of flying here in Valle de Bravo in full on racing conditions I can offer some perspective...plz remember this is my own.

Yesterday saw a few more events which helped solidify my feelings. Following several reserves/incidents in the preceding days, notable events I'm familiar with for yesterday (there were others) being 2 JinX's falling out of the sky with one ending under reserve and the other, an excellent pilot, cascading 800 meters with a clean glider but unable to restart the glider with normal inputs - it finally started flying again at the last possible moment.

With full on racing conditions we've had much of the time, the majority of gliding is being done on full bar and everyone has done everything they can to optimize their speed systems. You can imagine that pilots are trying various measures to eek out even the smallest additional speed. Yesterday they put the ESS directly in the afternoon lee/rotor of C Gordo with a 1k cylinder which wasn't the best call by the tc and many pilots got worked diving in there. Nik Papadopolopolis was full bar in there on his Gonzo and was trying something with his risers to get a bit more and blew up with a big cravat/spiral/full stall/cascade and unable to restart then reserve with strong downplane and scary high speed tall tree crash falling 30 feet shredding his glider. We were all quite relieved that he was ok and able to spin it humorously as only Nik can do.

Two days ago Lucky D'Nini, one of the planets most skilled and experienced pilots was ACRO deep stalling his Gonzo over the lake after making goal and ended up under reserve and in the trees up the hill a bit from the LZ, again, unable to get things sorted out and restarted

Both the Gonzo's and the IcePack-6's are gliding quite well and are rock solid on speed through all kinds of turbulence. The Jin pilots are really struggling because they don't glide as well at trim and are nowhere near as efficient while trying to speed through turbulence. They are constantly pitching and having to come off bar because it's difficult to effectively control the gliders with the risers. There was all kinds of hype when we got here about the Jin and how it turned so well it would easily climb right up through other gliders.. This of course ended up being total BS and of course it climbs nice but doesn't stand out. Several of the same pilots are now disappointed in the overall performance of the glider saying its not so good for racing but good only for recreational flying. The current results tend to support this but of course it's early in the comp and things may change.

The IcePack-6 has had some healthy factory quality control issues which showed up in several gliders after the first few warmup days. This was evidenced by dimples discovered by nearby pilots on the top surface in various locations. Some were temporarily sorted out by cutting and taping internal cross bracing... Another IcePack-6 took a full frontal (before the comp started) and broke some A lines then reserve. It was thought that they were possibly improperly looped at the riser attachment point and burned through at the first shock loading of the glider.

The Gonzo is an AreTen-Two with restricted speed and a small C cascade which seems to
make it launch easier. The B handles allow top efficiency while speeding on glide through all kinds of turbulence. Unlike the AreTen-Two and AreLeven, the Gonzo will spin (and apparently do a nice helicopter spin according to Joss yesterday) if pushed too hard while thermalling, but the spin authority is quite good and this has produced no problems that I'm aware of.

The IcePack-6 has very successfully incorporated much of the AreLeven's leading edge shark nose. It's flying very nicely and pilots are able to keep it coordinated while accelerated through turbulence. The certification was showing it quite a bit faster than the Gonzo and again many pilots were talking about how they were going to school us on glide..... Again, this never materialized and the gliders seem dead even IF you get every cm of speed out of your system. If you're half a turn behind someone when you leave the last thermal then you will hit the ESS 10k later the same distance behind them if you've both managed the glider equally through turbulence and stayed mostly pulley to pulley.

I guess what you can take from this is that any of these gliders may be difficult or impossible to restart if things go bad. Many Blozone pilots, myself included, are convinced that the best and safest all around racing glider is at home. While the risks of full speed blowouts are clear on the AreLeven/BoomBoom8, it appears that all 4 of the gliders we are flying here are also at risk of being unrecoverable if things go bad. Blozones website warning on the Gonzo is spot on and Jin and Nov-yuk should do the same. Why not fly the AreLeven which glides better, handles better, and is much less likely to break/stall/spin than the gliders we've been forced on to by the events of last summer?

It's been very typical Valle full on racing with great conditions, great pilots, and plenty of carnage with fortunately no serious injuries... The way things are going I'm sure there will be boat loads of data to summarize and sort through when this is finished....

J Black
-


So there you have it folks. If it's dirt you want, we got it. And it's nice to know that, during these turbulent times, all is back to normal with the top-dogs. Yes, they're still falling out the sky on a regular basis...

The internet !
Once the Pope's out the bottle, he'll be shittin' in the woods till doomsday. [ WTF? - Ed ]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video

An Interim Report

AS MOST of you will know a SIVL CompSafNet Defcon 5 Task Force was setup a few months ago and asked to sort out all the problems that have recently blighted the world of on-bar, lee-side thermalling, small silver trophies and skinny wings.

A few months ago they went off armed with pencils and have now returned to put pen to paper. Or key clicks to keyboards perhaps. They promised an interim report. So they wrote one.

The long awaited interim report has been anxiously awaited by many competition pilots as it will recommend to the powers that be what options they have to choose from when defining how competitions will run in the future. Not only the comps, of course, also the wings that may be flown, by whom, when, where and how. Although we are reliably informed that paragliders of a single tether set are off the table.

Well, it's been finished and it's been submitted, and almost on-time. [impressive - Ed]
And, of course, it's been leaked, presumably by the Ozzies.

What a choice of font! Stunning. Those boys know how to make a presentation all right. Not only does it set the professional tone of the document at the right level, it leaves the reader with [enough bullshit, get on with it - Ed]

So to the all important content. Those who have the time to read the document will have already done so, but there will be pilots out there who simply don't have the time to read and digest the entire tome. Enter Pie, with one of our enterprise class executive summaries.

The Pie executive summary:

"Everything, within the bounds of common sense, that you can possibly think to change about wing class definitions, harness safety, pilot training, accident reporting, task planning, wing testing, task scoring and anything else related to the competitive side of our sport that may help improve safety is on the table to solve this almighty balls up.

Over to you SIVL. Choose one please." 

Well, that clears that up then.

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 2001 "Bognor Regis Birdman" videos

Material Crisis

IT RATHER seems that September is not a good month to be a paraglider manufacturer. You may remember Pie reporter Maribel "Rose" Culottes broke the "White Wash" story this time last year when she discovered some manufacturers were running short of Posher-9017 and using Y-fronts in EN-C's? Well, here at Pie we're getting that sense of deja-vu again. Once more, again.

Trawling the net for the latest news, leads and stories for our readers we stumbled upon a video of a wing still in development and we think we've uncovered something untoward. And we think it shows they've lost those rolls of white cloth again.

"Surely not?", we hear you say.
Well yes, we think they surely have.

If you examine the following still frame from a secret, never-before-seen video we found on Vimyo, we're pretty confident you'll agree something is amiss.

Amazing, isn't it? There it is. Right there, in red and white.

Due to their failure to implement a decent JIT supply system and have the right materials, at the right place, at the right time, for the right wing, they're going to attempt to con customers out of half their bloody wings. The nerve of these guys! Do they really think they can get away with simply not supplying the bottom sail?

We've handed our findings to the Trading Standards Institutits and await their reply.

Meanwhile, somewhat unsurprisingly, Blozone were unavailable for comment.
[it must be all that R&D - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident

Task Force II

WELL YOU'RE just not going to believe this one.

This morning we received a press release direct from Hollywood. Yep, direct from Hollywood. Amazing, huh?

At the time of going to press, we were unable to preview the trailer or confirm the movie plot beyond the press release we received. So it's anyone's guess as to what this movie is about.

Perhaps we can presume it contains something of interest to PG pilots. Maybe.

Here's the press release in full. You decide.

Quote:


.. Univursal Studio Pictures presents...

.. .. .. a Farcical Moments / SIVL Pictures Production...

.. .. .. .. .. of a Calvow All-Ridge Film...

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. in collaboration with Film Four, R11 Offshore Rigs and Snoozewell Hospital Beds LLC...

 TASK FORCE II - - - This Time It's Personal !!

After the failure of their first mission behind enemy lines, the boys are going back.
And this time it's personal.
And this time they're taking notes !!
(and guns)
(but mainly notes)

Picking up (the pieces of) where they left off in the first movie, Bruce Willis (Knutson) takes on the might of The Baddie (IsInDerGarden) over the "Testing Ground" that is CAT-1 territory. Overrun by enemy test wings this no-mans-land is no place for a girl, but nothing will stop The Bint (Joe Lyn) from keeping her man alive.

With the timebomb ticking, and future wing development at stake, can our hero save the day and grab an extra .3 glide? Will he be able to squeeze an extra 3kph top end into wind? Will he get off the speedbar before it cravattes this time?

When the going gets tough, the tough buy serial class. No shit !! Shit, No !!


 TASK FORCE II, the all-new Farcical/SIVL blockbuster starring...

Gregorial Knutson as "Bruce Willis"
Jorge Uweld is "The Organiser"
Jon Wolton is "The Notetaker" (legal and A4)
Gosh Cohen is "Jesus' Mum"
Loo Joe Lyn is "The Bint"
Mad IsInDerGarden is "The Baddie"
Hands Pampas is "The Designer"
Rusty Ogler is "The Pilot"
Tungsten Steal is "Mister Pink"

and introducing:
.. .. The Serial Killer as "himself"

Coming Soon To A Cinema Near You !!
(well, maybe next year) (or later)

There you go folks. Grab a Coke and a small popcorn because it sounds like it's going to be a roller-coaster of an action adventure movie !!

[I think I'll wait for the DVD, Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

Naming Conventions

IT TRULY is amazing what we receive in the post!

Once again the postmaster general has brought us an anonymous tip which we feel obliged to share. Our French is terrible, but it does rather seem to be an official government form of some kind.

Make of it what you will.

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

A Christian Interview

WE GOT it! That's right, the one they all wanted... we got. We got that late Thursday night interview with Christ Yan Moorer. Yep, the one they said would never happen. The one those hacks over at XC-Rag can only dream about and those mainstream TV anchors wouldn't think of putting on air, but here at Pie we don't give up easily, we stick with it to give our readers what they really want to read. Really, really.

After flying and running for the length of your average continent, Christ-Yan went on a bit of a bender with his support driver (Thomas Thingy-whatever) to blow off the stress and strain and ease those aches and pains. And let's face it, you'd need a fair amount of good quality alcohol to ease those aches don't you think?

So last Thursday we somewhat lucked out when we bumped into them in Monaco's famous "Big Tits 'N' Even Bigger Tits" club. This surprised us a little as we were led to believe the Christ was a quiet, unassuming man of modest character and a well balanced demeanor. So, WTF, always happy to get it where we can, we sat down to see if all that sponsors liquor was having an effect and speak to the newly crowned king of the mountains. (and Thomas Thingummy)

Luckily, we taped it. (as the whole thing came as a great surprise when we found the tape in our pocket the next morning)

The Pie-Christ interview:

Pie: What was your worst moment, if you had one? And the best?
CM: Well, right from the off, treading in that horse shit before even crossing the Salzburg River was a big downer for me. They were new boots and everything, and I knew they'd never be the same for the whole trip. And I lost my lucky Swiss Army knife on day three, a gift from Bruce Goldchain when we met in Oz a few years back. I really missed that every day. Oh yes, and of course there was the full frontal induced, cravatted spin 20m AGL on that lee-side ridge with a 70Kph headwind. But I went hands-up and it came out no problem. Yes, and running out of toilet paper on the Schnitzelhorn Ridge would also be in my top 10 but likewise, I went hands up and it... well... likewise.

Pie: And the best moments?
CM: Oh yes, well ten minutes before you came in that chick with the tassles, over there behind the redhead, gave me a lap dance and XC-Rag paid for it, so that's one for the diary I can tell you. Don't tell the missus. Oh, and the final touchdown when I hit the raft at Monaco. Great moment. Truly a relief.

Pie: You mean finally ending the torture and pain?
CM: No, just hitting the raft. Trust me, I'm fucking useless at accuracy, I couldn't hit a dart board with a beer bottle if my life depended on it. I spent more time practising spot landings than anything else during training. Hopeless I am, but just keep it to yourself ok?

Pie: Tell us Chrigler, do you have bigger balls than most pilots? Physically speaking, I mean, are they above average in size?
CM: Well, it's not the size of your balls that's important, is it? It's what you do with them. Having a large pair of balls is no use if you get yourself killed within a year of learning to fly, now is it. And you need to be comfortable in your harness in this sport. You fly, sort of, you must know this.

Pie: Are you fucking kidding? It must take an elephant sized pair of gonads to launch a two-liner off a cliff you've never seen before in a 50kph crosswind with no bail-out option of it doesn't come up straight?
CM: Well yes, ok, they're fucking huge. And hairy. You can quote me!

Pie: Another beer, or chaser?
CM: Oh yes, Red Bollox have got a tab, I'm having two of of each. Thomas! We need more drinks!

Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: Clearly! Next question? Oh, thanks Thomas, and hey, remember, you're driving my friend!

Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: No, not at all. It's all about physical training and mental preparation.

Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: Well yes, clearly I am. There's no amount of physical training or mental preparation that can fully prepare you for the grueling onslaught of two weeks of that shit you know. Will that do?

Pie: What makes your glider so fast compared to the competition? How does it go so fast?
CM: Dunno.

Pie: Some say it's the pilot?
CM: Maybe, who is he? Is he good?

Pie: You're not human are you?
CM: No. never have been, never will be. Don't fancy it, to be honest. You humans are so weak and have a very limited capacity for just about everything except alcohol. My main worry is that by outclassing the entire field in this x-comp thing I might draw attention to myself and the Men in Black might come looking for me. Hey, that chick's eying me again...

Maybe we ran out of tape, maybe we turned it off, we'll probably never know. Either way, this exclusive interview has given us all a revealing look into the mind of probably the best pilot in the world.

You read it here first.

[Chrigel, you really are a bloody machine, congratulations (to all) - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

Subliminal Messages

IT RATHER seems like there might be a little inter-team communications going on in the currently running Bred Bull X-Pulp competition.

Perhaps the organisers should be informed...

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

Ghostly Visions

WE'VE JUST received a photo purporting to be from a well known West Coast flying site in the US of A. It was hand delivered to the Pie editor and we have to agree it seems strange.

At first glance it looks to be a simple photo of a grassy field, but on further examination it does seem to contain a ghostly shape. Strange!

In the general interests of the free flying community we would ask all pilots to examine the image closely and see if you spot anything out of the ordinary. Anything vaguely ghost-like, maybe.

If you do, we would ask you to mail us and let us know what you think it might be.

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

The Machine

PIE IN THE SKY - rarely speechless!

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

Tracivitis

HERE AT Pie we like to keep an eye on the general health of paraglider pilots and have recently been informed of a worrying trend.

Recently, the number of reported cases of what doctors call tracivitis, a recently discovered obsessive-compulsive disorder, have increased significantly such that we feel we should bring this to the attention of the general flying population.

Luckily, the symptoms are pretty easy to recognise so please take a long look in the mirror and see if you are suffering from any of the following; redness around the eyes, aching right wrist, difficulty sleeping, swollen right index finger, inability to use a laptop without the Googleearth plugin or a complete failure to recognise what your wife looks like any more.

If you find yourself suffering from any of these symptoms please try and confront the issue immediately before it takes over your life.

The General Medical Councils of most countries are offering the following advice; uninstall the Googlearth plugin from all your computer systems, throw your mouse away, remove all IGC & KLM files from your house, go outside for 5 minutes every hour during daylight hours, stop monitoring that PGF thread every five minutes, get a life or a girlfriend and, most importantly, go to the pub and drink a beer without your laptop or smartphone.

If all else fails and you find yourself unable to escape the evil clutches of this addiction, there are help groups and charitable organisations that can assist you with your fight, just Google tracivitis or Trackers Anonymous. Good luck!

We can only hope that this message and the advice from the worlds top medical experts will reach those in need before it's too late.

Pie in the Sky: helping addicts, one step at a time.

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

Also For Sale

For Sale:

Blozone Tantrum Are-11.
As new. Still crisp. Yellow/Red. Flown 5 times.
Always packed with care. Never taken a collapse (obviously).

Asking: 20 Euros
Will consider swap for Edell Space 27 or Hairwave Kiss M

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos

For Sale

For Sale: 

Blozone Tantrum Are-11. As new. Still crinkly. Orange/Red.
Flown 4 times: 100km on practice day, 2 hour evening post-retrieve float to the pub, task 1 & 2.

Asking: 25 Euros, negotiable.
Will consider swap for bus ticket to Madrid on Thursday.


Wankers!
[they definitely get it now - Ed]

Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos