2007 Columbia Open

ENTRIES ARE now being taken for the 2007 Columbian Open 6K Challenge for April of next year.

The all new competition will be based in and around the beautiful Chichi-Manga National Park, 90k north of Bogota, an area famed for its natural beauty, interesting rock formations, cascading waterfalls and an above average quantity of cheap roadside women with no underwear.

The competition is expected to be fierce and we've been told that several of the worlds top pilots are already in training for this specific event.

Avian Tomas, one-time British Champion and part-time wedding photographer told us, "I'm entering this comp because of the sense of fair play for which Columbia is world renound and I'm taking this one seriously."

"We even booked time in the wind tunnel just to test the new ballast holder required for this competition", continued LowMass, while munching on a low-fat cheese sandwich and doing a little long hand multiplication. Looking over his shoulder we were a little surprised to find some basic errors though, for example, we thought these days everyone would be aware of the errors in the Zaitsev & Sharina fluid models. Clearly standards are dropping at British Universities.

Comp organiser Juan Ignacio "Nacho" Rodriguez Orezuela of the Cali district told us, "We is a heddin al norte to the parapente zones with our trucks man and we'z hespectin little resistance. Now back da fuck away, de boss is comin in 10 minutz and we don't wants no trouble"

To enter the comp you will need to present your IPPI-5 card, a valid passport and have your harness fitted with the new airtight "6Kees" ballast container from SoupAir, the French poofs who never answer their phone.

This years prize money is expected to top last years and is currently set at 2.6 million US, although this could change depending on certain street-based factors. All the usual international competition services are planned including "armed" retrieve vehicles and an escort to the launch gate which is expected to open at "anytime after 12, maybe".

Unique to the comp world, the Columbian Open has only one waypoint. Easily identifiable on any map, it's 10cm wide and approximately 3140km long. If you have trouble programming your GPS, just ask anyone for directions to "the border".

Don't be too surprised to find fast cars approaching you upon landing, it's just the local custom. Simply follow their instructions exactly, let them have the ballast, and they will give you your prize money.

Pie in the Sky 
Funnier than the 1982 "Airplane II" sliding door scene